I took a bath today. You’re probably thinking, “weird, thing to brag about, Megs.” And you’re right. To anyone else that might not seem like such a big deal, but to me? It was a huge deal. And I almost chickened out as soon as I went to turn the water on.
You see, if you’re new here, you may not know that I accidentally had a baby in that tub. My labor with Meredith came on fast and we didn’t make it out of our house to welcome her to the world.
The tub was not full of warm water. There was not a doula or midwife there to monitor me and coax me through. We’re lucky we even made it to the tub at all.
It was not my plan nor my intention to have a home birth, but I did. And because of that, I carry a lot of birth trauma from my experience. I haven’t dipped a toe in that tub in almost 10 months.
But then I did. Today, I did. I dipped a toe. I filled it all the way up. And you know what? I was fine. I thought I might fall apart and sit in there and have a good cry, but I didn’t. I got in and had a moment of “wow, this is the exact spot I brought our youngest into the world.” And the profoundness of that made me proud.
And then I moved on, soaked in my tub for the first time in a LONG time and got to do something I’ve missed terribly 🛁
Today, I took a bath.